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BDSM Collar and Chain.jpg
Woman wearing a collar with attached chain
B&D, B/D, or BD Bondage and discipline
D&s, D/s, or Ds Dominance and submission
S&M, S/M, or SM Sadism and masochism
Top/​Dominant partner who performs or controls the activity
Bottom/​Sub­missive partner who receives or is controlled
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Dominance ...

Dominance. Perhaps more than any other trait it the fundamental trait that makes a man a man. Dominance is what allows a man to make his impression on the world. It allows him to control himself, others (especially women), and even the world around him. Dominant men shape the world to fit to their ideals and ideas, while passive males allow the world to shape them it's ideals.

Dominance is a, if not the, fundamental aspect of being a man. Embrace it, utilize it, and then direct it.

Men were created to shape the world to share in the act of creation, to be creators. This is something I discussed in The Primer but wish to delve deeper into another aspect here. Dominance automatically gets a response from others and the world around you. A man who displays dominance or who is dominant stands out to others and the world like a diamond in a sea of coal. A man who knows what he wants and goes after it. A man who imposes his will on reality changing reality to fit it. This man makes use of his mind and his masculinity and the world responds to that.

Men respect him even when they envy him. Women cannot resist him. And the universe becomes plastic the the molding powers of his thoughts and actions. Things do not happen to him he happens to things essentially. He is an action as well as a risk taker and so much more. I could spend all day listing the different traits that make up a dominant man but that is no the point of this article.

Dominance Over Himself

The first thing that a man must dominate is his own mind. Once he has his mind firmly under his own control and is directing it as he wishes, he can achieve just about anything that he wishes. Self-mastery is truly the greatest mastery of them all. When self-mastery is the fundamental basis from which you work you will be successful in your ventures. Men who have mastered themselves have a much easier time mastering others and shaping reality to their ideals.

The first step in dominance is to take control of your mind and adapt the correct mindset. When this is done everything else begins to fall in place. Take control of your thoughts and harness the great power of your mind to get it working for you instead of against you. This is not a step that can be skipped or glossed over. It is the foundation, it is what everything else rests upon. Without this you will be like the builder who built his house upon the sand and when the rains came... well you know the rest.

Master your mind and be the man who built his house upon the rock and when the rains came he didn't give a damn because he built his house upon rock.

Dominance Over Others

Once a man has mastered himself he can then work on domination in relation to others. When most people think about being dominant in relation to others. They think of a domineering loudmouthed asshole which is not at all what I am getting at here. Domineering loudmouth assholes are little boys who are over­compensating for something. No, a dominant man can be quiet and often nice (unless you cross him). He may walk around not drawing attention to himself but there is something there that is undeniable and powerful. A primal energy that people just know. Dominance is to being domineering what confidence is to arrogance. One is healthy, essential, and attractive the other stems from insecurities and is seen through.

There is no force on this earth that women respond stronger to than dominance. Dominance is like catnip for women. Again remember this isn't being domineering. Men who always are fighting and yelling at their woman are insecure little boys not the dominant man we are talking about. A man who is dominant in control of both himself and his reality will be irresistible to women. It's not something that they can choose to be attracted to or not, they simply are. Like a woman with a nice round ass and a skinny waist as a man you have no choice whether you are attracted to her or not, you simply are. While looks are what men look for in women, dominance is what women look for in men as far as mating goes.

Dominance Over Reality

Reality can be molded. The world is shaped by men who decided that they wanted to shape it. Life is not a passive journey where fates decide where you end up. If you are a man you have the power to shape the world around you into what you wish. Not necessarily the entire world (though that is possible) but your own world, the one that actually matters to you. You can create the life that you want and impose your will on reality. Like how God called matter out of nothing you can also call the life you want out of the life you have. As men were given the power to be co-creators (obviously on a much smaller scale but nevertheless).

Remember this all stems from dominance over your own mind. Once that is accomplished having dominance over others and over your world often naturally falls into place and even if not, it takes a little work to get it there. Men are called to be dominant. Over themselves, in their lives, in relation to women, and in relation to others. Men were created to be dominant. The world needs dominant men who will make a place worth living. It is men who shape the world but first taking control of themselves.


  1. Dominance, Charles Sledge on May 3, 2016

See also